If Mama’s not happy, no one’s happy.
Mums are taught to practice selfless parenting where their lives revolve around the children, and their self-care is relegated to the backseat. Historically, mums had a village of family and friends to help raise and nurture the children. This idea of selfless parenting hasn’t changed yet society has evolved. Mums no longer have easy access to family or friends to help raise the children so the brunt of childcare is usually solely placed on mum, with dad crowned an assistant.
Where does all this pressure and stress come from?
- Mums spend a significant amount of their day undertaking parenting duties, and are likely to have taken on more stereotypical household roles, and may also be working outside the home. Mums are critiqued by society for their parenting abilities and self-judge to be the “perfect mum” and “have it all”. On top of this, mums haven’t even had a chance to recover from pregnancy and birth, revive their sexual self-image (or even revive their self-image as an individual), and worry about their intimate relationship. When new mums think of sex and intimacy they feel guilt, fear and humiliation. It’s exhausting just reading all the things mums do and think about every day!
- All these thoughts and feelings are doing is stimulating stress and fatigue and sedating sexual satisfaction.
- What does your sexual self-image look like?
- If the answer is anything like: unhappy, unsatisfied, non-existent or disappointing then Mama, you are completely NORMAL. Better yet, it is absolutely possible to change your sexual self-image.
Sensual self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary, to have the energy and capability to care for others and connect to your partner. Sexual satisfaction for a couple is interdependent and associated with relationship stability. Relationship stability is important for stability within the home so let’s create stable happy homes for our little ones to thrive.
Start your sensual self-care practices to de-stress, acknowledge your sensuality and start rebuilding the intimacy in your relationship.
- Personal Date Night: Take an hour each week for yourself. Set a night aside, after the children have gone to sleep, to do whatever you want. This excludes doing chores, work or partner interaction that night for at least 1 hour. What makes you feel like you? What makes you feel sexy? What makes you feel like a woman?
- Weekly Couple Date Night: Similar to your personal date night, set a night where you come together with your partner and enjoy some undisturbed intimacy. Intimacy takes many forms, not just sex. Take it slow and start by turning off your phones and television. Communicate openly about your day, your feelings and your thoughts. Remind each other what captivated you to start a relationship in the first place!
- Sensual Self-Touch: Every day or other day, gently caress yourself all over and allow yourself to feel each area being touched. Start at the top of your head and slowly work your way down to your toes. You can touch around your genitals but not on your genitals. This is a great exploration to get used to being touched again (not by a child crying out for Mama). It also ignites all those little nerve endings in your body and gets your endorphins flowing. This is best done in front of the mirror so you can see your touch and then repeat the process with closed eyes and focus on the sensations of your touch.
Rebuild your relationship’s sexual satisfaction one moment at a time through sensual self-care.
